


Tell the Wind and Fire

by batyalewbel



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, The others are all there but not a lot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 16:39:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13745013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/batyalewbel/pseuds/batyalewbel
Summary: His first thought when his cover got blown was: She was going to be furious with him for this.It’s a thought he kept having when he was shackled and thrown into a dark cell.It’s a thought that is keeping him alive now, because it’s all he has to hang onto.There are few certainties in Cassian Andor’s life, but there are two things he can always count on: Jyn Erso, his best friend’s endless anger at the world and the fact that one day he’s going to die for the Rebellion and she’ll hate him for it.





	Tell the Wind and Fire

**Author's Note:**

> The other of two pieces I've written for the 2018 Fandom Trumps Hate challenge.  
> Astairelover requested a fic with hurt/comfort rebelcaptain where Cassian was the one who got hurt.
> 
> Trigger warnings for torture and thoughts of suicide(The I'll die rather than give up my secrets kind, not depressive ideations)

_“And I tell him, ‘Defarge, I was brought up among the fishermen of the sea-shore, and that peasant family so injured by the two Evremonde brothers, as that Bastille paper describes, is my family._ _Defarge, that sister of the mortally wounded boy upon the ground was my sister, that husband was my sister’s husband, that unborn child was their child, that brother was my brother,_ _that father was my father, those dead are my dead, and that summons to answer for those things descends to me!’ Ask him, is that so.”_  
_“It is so,” assented Defarge once more._  
_"Then tell Wind and Fire where to stop,” returned madame; “but don’t tell me.”_

_-Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities_

\---

 

Cassian’s been gone for a month.

Jyn sits alone in his bunk, sitting on his bed, her leg twitching a nervous beat against the duracrete floor beneath her feet.

He’s been gone for a month.

And he’s been missing for at least 2 weeks. It could be more.

She worked out a system with Draven. She’s fairly certain he loathes her and so the system is mostly one of convenience on his part. The only way to rid himself of her.

Since Jyn can be quite an irritation when she puts her mind to it and she certainly did when Cassian went off for his first mission after Scariff.

The system is simple.

He tells her how long it’s been since Cassian’s last check in.

It’s hard to predict how long any of his missions might be. Cassian used to give her estimates. Two weeks, a month… He was always wrong anyway, so at some point he gave up.

But Draven can tell her.

_‘Two weeks since last check in.’_

Or…

_‘He checked in this morning.’_

One to two weeks is standard. Three weeks might mean he’s pressed.

After a month there might be cause for worry.

Sometimes Draven might even provide an extra bit of information.

_‘Deep cover. We expect total radio silence for at least two months.’_

She knows it’s only a desperate measure to get rid of her, but it’s reliable and a small comfort when he’s away on long missions. As long as she knows he’s still alive, she can rest a little easier at night.

At least a little bit.

So when she stopped in to ask Draven after two weeks, she didn’t worry. Maybe there was a small flicker of something in her chest, like a premonition but she ignored it.

She always worries when he’s away.

At three weeks, she grit her teeth and forced herself to nod and leave.

When they reached a month since his last check in she simply stood in the doorway to Draven’s office. And he just stared at her and shook his head.

A month that he’s been gone. Who knows how much of that month has been spent captured or _worse._

(The worst is death and Jyn will not allow herself to contemplate that possibility. Cassian must be alive or else.)

(Or else what? She wonders, but again… She refuses to contemplate this. Whatever might follow such a loss would involve a fire and fury, the likes of which would astound enemies and friends alike.)

Now she sits alone in his room, her leg jumping in a riddled restless rhythm.

She learned how to hot-wire the room controls after a month on Hoth. She’s fairly sure that Cassian knows she’s breaking into his room while he’s away, but he never says anything about it.

So she sits in his room and thinks.

It’s not so much _what_ she’s going to do now?

It’s _how?_

\---

In the days after Scariff, Jyn doesn’t recall much beyond a white medical room and the smell of bacta. But she remembers always looking for him in the moments she was conscious.

She was in a room with him and Bodhi and a box full of the scraps they were able to grab of K-2.

Baze and Chirrut were in the room next door and she would be able to see them once she was able to get out of bed, but in those first few days she remembers sleeping and waking to see him. He was the first thing she saw when she woke up and the last thing she saw before falling asleep.

When they were finally released from the med-bay, that boy had already blown up the Death Star.

And she knew where she stood with Cassian.

She wasn’t one to use words like ‘love’ but it applied.

And while he certainly cared deeply for her, she was fairly sure it wasn’t to the same extent.

Which was fine and she settled into a friendship with him easily.

(As long as he remained in her life she would never care about what ‘status’ defined their relationship)

(He didn’t love her the same way and that was fine.)

She helped him rebuild K-2 and soaked in his presence like a flower soaks up the sun.

They shared smiles watching Bodhi be utterly besotted by the Skywalker boy.

(It was clearly mutual, but they were both too silly to do anything about it)

They ate meals together, they sparred together, they even spent a few evenings drinking in the cantina together.

Every second with him was precious and Jyn knew better than to take it for granted.

And now he’s missing.

\---

His first thought when his cover got blown was: She was going to be furious with him for this.

It’s a thought he kept having when he was shackled and thrown into a dark cell.

It’s a thought that is keeping him alive now, because it’s all he has to hang onto.

There are few certainties in Cassian Andor’s life, but there are two things he can always count on.

Jyn Erso, his best friend’s endless anger at the world and the fact that one day he’s going to die for the Rebellion and she’ll hate him for it.

People always assume they’re ‘together’ because of this, but he knows better.

He knows that Jyn doesn’t love him that way and he doesn’t care.

Having her near him and caring about him is more than he could have ever hoped for really.

And assuming he makes it out of this place alive, he’s honestly looking forward to getting reamed out by Jyn for getting caught.

The problem is that he’s been down here for awhile.

Occasionally someone comes down and attempts to beat information out of him, but he’s been trained for this sort of thing and he won’t crack from a few cuts and bruises.

(More than a few actually)

Clearly they aren’t in a rush though…

They could have killed him within the first few days, but they haven’t.

They’re willing to wait and break him down slowly.

He’s lost track of time and he’s getting weaker from the lack of decent food and water.

Sometimes they put things in the water to mess with his head and it’s getting harder to keep himself clear enough to withstand it all.

He’s getting weaker.

And he’s not sure how much longer he’s going to last.

If Jyn doesn’t tear him a new one for this, Kay surely will.

\---

K-2 finds her fiddling with what little food she’s got on her tray in the mess hall.

After his rebuild, he somehow ended up a little taller than he was before and that was tall enough.

He’s as much scrap metal as he is spare parts now. What they couldn’t steal, they rebuilt and with his original circuitry intact, it was just about making sure the parts were compatible.

The droid looks like patchwork now, mismatched and odd.

They’ve been on Hoth for a year and a half, but people still stare at him when he enters a room.

And the rebuild did nothing for the droid’s temperament.

Sometimes Jyn thinks he’s even more sour now than he was before.

“Cassian’s gone missing,” K-2 asks, even though he states it like fact. She nods mutely down at her tray, feeling the droid’s visual receptors almost boring into her.

With Kay no longer looking like a standard Imperial droid, he’s less able to help Cassian on missions. Sometimes Draven still allows him to come, but this mission was one that required K-2 to stay on Hoth and K-2 was not pleased.

Now he shifts his weight, still standing over her table rather than sitting down so she can easily look at him without craning her neck.

“Do they have any indication that he’s alive?” K-2 asks.

“Draven didn’t say,” she mutters, slowly scraping her fork across the metal of her tray.

For once K-2 has no snappy reply, he simply turns and lumbers off out of the mess hall, leaving her to her thoughts.

\---

That night at dinner Bodhi watches her nervously while the two guardians sit calmly like they’re waiting for something to happen.

She ignores them, glaring down at the table, lost in angry black thoughts.

“You’re going after him aren’t you?”

It’s Leia Organa of all people who quietly settles on the bench beside Jyn, her gaze piercing Jyn to the bone.

\---

She didn’t meet Leia properly until afterwards.

There was a medal ceremony for the boy Skywalker and his associates. A smuggler named Han Solo and a wookiee.

Jyn didn’t mind that she was not given some sort of award. But it grated on her that the others went unacknowledged.

After the ceremony, Leia Organa approached her with a look that bordered on sardonic or maybe even apologetic.

“I’m sorry,” she had said quietly once she was close enough to be heard, “You and your friends should have been up there too.”

Jyn stared in plain shock, she did not expect this kind of behaviour from people in charge. Important people were not kind or generous with their time, which made this girl an anomaly. She eventually shook her head and said, “No, it’s better we weren’t.”

At that Leia smiled.

“That’s what the captain said when I spoke to him about it,” there was a glint of humor in her eyes, “For heroes, you lot are quite modest aren’t you?”

And Jyn wasn’t sure what to make of her or what to say.

Finally, she said, “The heroes are all dead ma’am. We’re just the survivors.”

Leia nodded, ducking her head a little. Her lip still quirked up in the corner,

“True enough,” she said, “I can relate.”

And with that she had walked off, leaving Jyn speechless in her wake.

They encountered each other many more times around the base and Leia was always quick to be kind and even quicker to the point.

\---

“You’re going after him aren’t you?” Leia asks and Jyn can only stare for a moment before looking away, biting the inside of her cheek.

“Of course, _stars help me,_ I’ve no idea how to find him, but yes, I’m going to look for him.”

“You will find him,” Chirrut says from his seat across the table and there’s a certainty to his words that is almost maddening.

“How can you even say that?” she asks, leaning across the table to glare at the blind man.

“For all we know he could be dead already or--”

She stops there, shocked to silence by her own words and Chirrut only smiles. Gentle and kind as ever.

“You will find him.”

And Leia rests a hand on her arm.

“I’ll make sure you have a ship and a pilot, the rest will be up to you.”

\---

“Sergeant Erso, what can I do for you?” Draven asks in a long tired sigh without looking up from his datapad or his desk.

Jyn hesitates in the doorway to his office, still trying to formulate a reasonable argument. A moment passes before she wills herself forward and silently hopes this will work.

“I’m going after Cassian,” she says and that gets Draven’s attention. Granite gray eyes flick up to look at her as one scarred hand goes to press against his temple.

“Is that so?” he asks, measured and calm as she takes a seat on the other side of his desk.

“It is,” she replies, sounding more sure than she is.

“And how do you intend to go about this venture?” he asks, the one hand still holding his datapad, taps at the screen impatiently.

“All you need to tell me is where he is,” she says, leaning forward in her seat.

“I don’t need to know what he was there for or any of your secrets,” she looks him right in the eye, “Just tell me where he is.”

The general stares back at her for a long silent moment. That one finger still tapping away like an echo of her own restless heartbeat.

“You may not know the Rebellion’s secrets, but you still know our current location. If you’re caught you could doom us all,” he says. He doesn’t even blink discussing her own possible death.

Jyn wonders if that’s a skill that generals learn over time.

Out loud she says, “I was trained by Saw Gerrera. I know how to not get caught and I know how to withstand torture.”

At that he finally blinks, his eyebrows lifting ever so slightly.

Jyn leans further forward in her seat, her eyes shining as she says in a rush, “Think of it this way. If I die out there trying to find him, you’ve lost nothing. And if I find him, you’ll be getting one of your best agents back. So either way you win.”

Draven stares at her for another long moment where Jyn can practically feel her life ticking away.

“Well, it won’t be enough to tell you where he is. You’ll need to see if you can meet his contact. She’ll be the one who can get you inside.”

\---

Jyn walks out into the hangar, her breath clouding in the cold Hoth air. It’s early in the morning and the others are surely still asleep.

She said her goodbyes last night. Fierce embraces with Baze and Chirrut, a kiss on the forehead for Bodhi. It’s important to say proper goodbyes in case they do end up being her last.

Such is the risk that comes with being a Rebel, she supposes.

Leia is waiting for her in the hangar, hugging herself against the chill, she nods to Jyn as she approaches.

“You said you would have a ship and a pilot for me?” Jyn asks and Leia nods again before turning and walking deeper into the hangar, a clear indication for Jyn to follow.

Jyn has to jog a little to keep up with the princess’ quick stride.

“It’s not Bodhi is it?” Jyn asks, she’d rather not risk more of her friends on this potentially risky venture.

“No, it’s not lieutenant Rook,” Leia says over her shoulder, “Given the circumstances, I assumed the possibility that you might need a quick getaway and Bodhi is a cargo pilot.”

At that Leia finally stops and Jyn, beside her.

She’s looking at the princess who is looking up and when Jyn follows her gaze, she realizes why.

They’re standing in front of the Millenium Falcon.

Jyn almost winces. She hasn’t spent much time with the smuggler, but it’s been enough to know she’s not a fan. He’s overconfident, and seems to rely far too much on luck. Leia, as if sensing her hesitation says, “I know he’s an idiot, but he’s a good pilot and he does what I say, so he won’t leave without you.”

At that Jyn raises her eyebrows and Leia smirks.

“We have an understanding,” she adds and Jyn opens her mouth to ask what in Force’s name _that_ means when a voice calls from inside the ship, “Hey princess, do the pair of you plan to sit around and chat all day? Or are we going?”

Right on cue, Han Solo sticks his head out the open door at the top of the exit ramp.

“You’re going now,” Leia calls up to him looking stern, but amused. Then she turns back to Jyn resting a hand on Jyn’s arm.

“Good luck, Sergeant Erso,” she says softly, giving Jyn’s arm a squeeze before walking away leaving Jyn alone with the nerfherder.

They lock eyes and clearly neither of them are pleased with this arrangement.

“Well?” he finally asks, “This mission of yours won’t exactly work if you’re not aboard the Falcon kid.”

Jyn sighs and makes her way up the ramp.

“Don’t call me kid.”

“Whatever, Erso. You’ve got coordinates?”

She shoves a datapad in his hands and heads inside the Millenium Falcon. When she reaches the main hold she stops.

K-2SO is already seated at one of the small tables in the hold.

“Finally, it took you long enough,” he says and Jyn stares at the droid, open-mouthed.

“Yeah, your little friend said he was coming too,” Han says breezily as he sidles past Jyn and heads for the cockpit.

“Little is hardly an accurate descriptor of my dimensions,” K-2 says in Han’s direction, but the smuggler just keeps walking and waves a hand at them like that’s an adequate response.

Then it’s just the two of them and Jyn keeps staring until the engines roar to life beneath them and she hurries to buckle herself into one of the seats.

“What are you doing here Kay?” she asks softly as she fiddles with the buckles and tightens the strap on her seat.

“I’m getting Cassian back, what are _you_ doing?” the droid asks, his head whipping around in her direction with obvious affront.

“I would assume what I’m doing is obvious,” Jyn mutters as the ship shudders around them, lifting off the ground.

“I suppose now is the point where you tell me to go home,” K-2 says sourly.

“No,” Jyn says, staring straight ahead, “I know you won’t listen to me. You only take orders from Cassian, but _Kay,”_ she turns to look at him, “There’s a reason you’re hardly allowed on missions with Cassian anymore.”

She gestures at all of the droid, half discolored scrap metal and half droid parts that don’t match. Only the head and a few parts of the torso are even from a KX droid. There’s no Imperial logo on his shoulder anymore to help him blend in.

The droid’s gears whir loudly in irritation as his photoreceptors glare at her.

“And you expect to be able to get him out on your own? Organics are fragile enough, but you’re diminutive. If he’s unconscious how will you transport him back to the ship?” he asks.

“Do you think the smuggler will assist you out there, because we both know he won’t.”

Jyn looks away, biting her lip.

“He’ll never forgive himself if you’re lost on his account,” she murmurs.

“I believe he would be similarly distressed if you were lost,” K-2 replies and she sighs.

She can’t find it in her to say _she_ would never forgive herself…

She knows when she’s fighting a losing battle so she just nods her head once.

“Fine,” she says without looking at the droid. There’s a pull in the pit of her stomach that means they’ve jumped to hyperspace and seconds after that she hears the wookiee’s bark and Han Solo’s voice calling out from the cockpit, _“If you and the tin can are done arguing I’ve got an ETA.”_

Jyn glares down the hallway that leads to the cockpit as K-2 mutters beside her, “I’m far more _advanced_ than a tin can.”

At that she can only bite back a smile and say, “Come on, let’s go talk to the pilot.”

\---

He aches all over.

He’s started to lose track of where one bruise ends and another begins.

He can’t tell anymore what’s broken or just bent.

And a fever has been settling under his skin. At least one of those gashes on his arms must have gotten infected and it’s getting worse. The cold is the worst part. He’s so cold he trembles all over.

He still hasn’t given them what they want, but it’s only a matter or time now.

They didn’t find the death capsule sealed inside a false molar at the back of his mouth.

He could have cracked that capsule when they first caught him and died in a matter of minutes but he’s not ready to die.

He’s not sure what he’s holding out for but something keeps him from using that last resort.

Although he’s been thinking about it more and more. It’s starting to feel less like a potential option and more like an inevitable end.

He’ll crack the capsule before he cracks.

He’s been trained for this. He’ll die before he gives up the Rebellion’s secrets.

But he’s starting to wonder what he’s waiting for.

It’s not like there’s a rescue coming.

Not for him.

The only thing he can do is close his eyes and think of her. Of celestial green eyes and hands that are as quick to harsh action as they are to gentle touches. Brown hair that’s forever getting in her eyes and a delicate frame that belies such strength…

He falls asleep with blood in his mouth, sweat on his brow, and his head full of her.

\---

Draven gave her a method of contact and as soon as they land on the muddy planet known as Darkknell she’s entering a number into the Falcon’s comms and praying for an answer.

Kay is standing directly behind her and she knows Solo and Chewie are eavesdropping in the cockpit doorway so she just stares at the transparisteel at the planet they’ve landed on. All she can see is mud and rain as the comms beep at her, waiting for someone on the other end to answer.

Finally, a response comes.

“Hello?” a woman’s voice asks.

“Yes, hello! I’m calling to make a report,” Jyn says in a rush. Draven made her memorize a script. A coded conversation that would tell this woman to come meet them.

“What’s the report? We’ve had word of some disturbances,” the woman replies.

‘Disturbances,’ means there was trouble.

“My blasters gone missing, I think it’s been stolen,” Jyn says and manages to keep her voice from trembling.

The blaster is code for an agent.

“Well, I’m off duty at the moment at the Old Steel. If you want to file a report you’ll have to come to the office in the morning.”

There’s a click as the line goes dead and Jyn stares at the commlink, utterly perplexed.

“We can’t come to the _office,_ that’s the whole point,” she mutters.

“The woman told you she’s at the Old Steel. It’s a local cantina,” K-2 says and she turns to stare at the droid, momentarily grateful for his presence.

“You know where it is?” she asks and his gears whir with annoyance.

“Of course I know, Cassian’s been here quite a few times before.”

“Then let’s go,” she says, jumping out of her seat and heading for the door.

As she suspected, Han and the wookiee were standing just outside.

“If you’re not here waiting for us, I will personally skin you alive,” Jyn says pointing a finger in his face. He snorts and pushes her hand aside, “Get in line kid.”

She huffs out a breath and shoves past him.

“We’ll be here,” Han calls after her.

“You better be,” she shouts back as they reach the ship’s exit and Darkknell just beyond.

\---

The Old Steel is a dingy cantina at the end of a long rain soaked cobblestone street.

Raykel, one of Darkknell’s major cities, is a seedy place seemingly made out of crowded streets and neon lights. Almost every place here seems to be a bar, a brothel, or a gambling den.

And the denizens of the city are a mixed bag of every color, size, and shape.

Nobody looks twice at a scrap metal droid here it seems.

Apparently he fits right in.

There is very little talking as she follows K-2 to the cantina. Once they enter, they both pause at the top of the stairs to survey the place.

Dimly lit and every surface stained with something or another.

The few tables scattered around the room are mostly empty.

There’s a heavy set Pantoran behind the bar and an offshoot Arkanian woman sitting at one of the tables, half in stormtrooper armor with the helmet resting on the table.

Draven told her to look for an Arkanian offshoot and the woman fits the bill. Skin as white as the snow blanketing Hoth and hair to match. Her eyes are gray and laser focused on the pair of them.

The stormtrooper armor is unexpected, but Jyn swallows hard and steps forward, with Kay following behind her, silent and watchful.

She stops in front of the woman’s table.

“Would you happen to go by the name Nadjia?” Jyn asks, keeping her face calm and her voice flat and uninterested.

“To some,” the woman replies, eyeing them both up and down with her glass half raised to her lips, “Are you here to file that report?”

Jyn nods and sits down at the table.

The woman drains her glass and sets it down on the table.

“I can see why our boy likes you,” she says, eyebrows lifted and lips quirked at the corners.

He doesn’t, she wants to say, not like that anyway.

Instead she says, “When did you last see him?”

“Straight to the point, even better,” Nadjia murmurs with an appreciative nod. She pauses only to glance at K-2, “I’m guessing this is his crabby droid?” she asks and Jyn frowns at the woman but nods.

“Hey Scraps, it’s been awhile,” the woman says, knocking her knuckles against Kay’s chestplate.

“That’s hardly relevant,” Kay replies, sitting up straighter like he’s offended and the woman lets out a sigh.

“Well, he hasn’t changed much,” she says, shaking her head and signaling the bartender. When she turns back to them the play is gone from her tone, “I can only get you through the door as prisoners. I can put you in a cell and leave you an easy way out, the rest is up to you.”

Jyn nods as the bartender brings Nadjia a fresh glass of what might be brandy and the woman drains in one gulp.

She sets it down on the table with more force than is probably necessary and then she picks up her helmet and says, “Alright, let’s go.”

\---

Nadjia cuffs them in the alley outside the bar.

Only in the dark does Jyn ask, “Since when do they have Arkanian Stormtroopers?”

And the woman shrugs, “Darkknell is a nothing planet at the ass end of nowhere. They save their high quality clone troopers for places they actually care about.”

Once they’ve got their restraints they are marched towards the Imperial base just outside the city.

“I don’t know where they’re keeping him, but it’s somewhere on the prison floor,” she tells them before they enter the base. And Jyn nods, knowing they’ll have to improvise once they get inside.

Nadjia leaves them in a cell with a keycard hidden in Jyn’s pocket that should open any door and a lockpick for the restraints. She leaves and doesn’t look back.

Jyn makes quick work of the restraints on herself and then Kay and as the droid’s cuffs fall to the ground he asks, “Is there actually a plan? Or are you just making this up as you go along?”

Jyn shakes her head and begins working on the cell door. There’s a laser shield she can’t get her hands through so she has to jam open a panel in the wall to try and short circuit it.

“Did you just expect to walk in here and pull Cassian out?” Kay asks when she doesn’t immediately respond and Jyn shrugs.

“That’s reckless and even with _my_ help there’s a 72.16% chance of failure resulting in our deaths.”

Jyn glares at the droid just then.

“Well, you could have stayed home,” she says before turning back to the panel as she manages to get it open.

“If I had not come the chances for an optimal outcome were even lower,” K-2 says and Jyn sighs, letting her head drop forward to rest against the wall. She closes her eyes and breathes for a moment, lets the frustration wash away since it won’t help them or Cassian.

“I know Kay, I know,” she murmurs.

When Jyn manages to get their cell open Kay whispers at his lowest volume setting, “What now?”

And Jyn glares around the empty hallway, her hands balling into fists, a hint at violence yet unseen.

“Find Cassian,” she says and storms off down the hall. Every inch of her small frame, taut and ready.

\---

Cassian bites his tongue so hard he draws blood, but he can’t hold back the shout that escapes him when the interrogator jams the shock baton into his side for the third time.

“What was your purpose in coming to Darkknell?” The interrogator demands and Cassian grins without humor and spits a gob of blood onto the man’s shirt.

“I came to see the sights,” he says for hundredth time. Many people come to Darkknell for the drinking and gambling and women. It was as good a cover story as any.

It’s a shame it didn’t stop him from getting caught trying to hack into their database.

The Interrogator growls, jabbing him again with the shock baton, sending vicious electricity coursing through his body. It burns and he’s already broken, but now he’s short circuiting.

“Sir?” a voice calls from the doorway and the burning stops. He breathes out a long sigh of relief as the interrogator gets up approaches the junior officer.

“Not long now on this one,” he says casually and Cassian can’t help but agree, feeling the false tooth in mouth for the millionth time and considering how much longer he should wait.

 

\---

“Where is he?” Jyn asks the stormtrooper they yanked from the halls and threw into an empty cell. It’s better than standing out in the open and K-2 stands out in the hall ready to signal her if someone is coming.

She has his helmet in her hand and a blaster aimed at his knee. There’s already blood at his temple where she bashed him with his own helmet, and his shoulder where she’s already blasted him.

The man is pale with ash white blonde hair and sweat on his brow.

“Where is who?” he asks, trembling from head to toe and Jyn punches him once in the wounded shoulder.

“Don’t play stupid, this base is tiny and almost all your cells are empty,” she says, her barely leashed temper making her voice tremble and her eyes burn.

“You caught a Rebellion spy, maybe a month ago,” she continues and the stormtroopers eyes seem to flatten, his lips curling into a sneer.

“Rebel scum,” he spits and she shoots him in the knee, pressing a hand over his mouth to suppress the howl he lets out.

Once he’s silent, she steps back and points the blaster at his other knee and knows that she’s made her point now when his eyes widen.

“You’ve only got one more knee, want to try again?” she says through her teeth.

\---

“Sir, there’s a problem,” the officer says to the interrogator and they don’t even bother leaving Cassian’s cell.

Overconfidence makes them lazy.

Or maybe he’s just lucky.

“Two new prisoners seem to have escaped.”

“Are they of any importance?”

“A Rebel girl and a scrap metal droid built like a KX model.”

At that Cassian looks up and neither of them notice.

“Where are they now?”

“They’re in hall 4, prison deck.”

Cassian immediately looks away, letting his head loll on his neck once again.

“Well, go do your job and terminate them immediately.”

“Yes, sir.”

A rebel girl and a scrapped KX droid.

Jyn’s here.

Jyn and Kay are _here._

And about to get themselves shot trying to find him.

Why else would they be here?

He’s breathing fast, his head’s still muddled but clear enough to think of a terrible plan.

He never tried escaping before because he knew he wouldn’t get far on his own.

He still might not get far, but if they’re here and putting themselves at risk, he’ll have to do his damndest to make sure they get out alive.

The interrogator is walking towards him with the shock baton in hand.

“Now. Where were we?”

This time, Cassian’s ready and when the interrogator jabs him with the baton, he grabs it with both hands.

With restraints, his movement is limited and with this thing burning holes through him and short circuiting his brain, he’s got seconds before he passes out.

He yanks the baton hard, a move that clearly surprises the interrogator because it falls from his hands. For a moment his vision goes white and he somehow has the presence of mind to fumble for the activation button.

He presses the button and grabs the interrogator’s arm, still outstretched. _Stars_ he’s thankful for the element of surprise and slow reflexes and he allows himself a moment of vicious pleasure as he jams the baton into the interrogator’s chest and activates it.

\---

“I told you what you want,” the trooper says and Jyn bares her teeth. She’s done far worse in the Partisans and she could kill him now and know that he surely deserved it.

“Jyn,” K-2 says quietly from the cell doorway.

She has her blaster aimed right at his head and her hands are shaking.

She’s done worse than torturing one stormtrooper.

“Jyn,” K-2 says her name again and she looks at the droid. Those photoreceptors give nothing away and yet she thinks she understands.

She hits the trooper upside the head with the helmet, just to knock him unconscious.

Then she turns to K-2 and murmurs a quiet, “Thanks,” before stepping out into the hall with him.

Of course, that’s when the alarms go off and they trade a single look.

They’re in hall 4, they’re looking for hall 10.

They’ve got a long way to go and a lot of troopers between them and Cassian.

Jyn grips her blaster tight and starts running. She’ll be damned if she let’s this stop her.

\---

Cassian is in bad shape. Bloody and unsteady on his feet. His hands are shaking around the blaster he stole off the interrogator and his head started spinning the moment he stood up.

Still.

He needs to _move._

He needs to find them before the Imperials do.

He needs to make sure they get out alive.

It’s the only thing keeping him on his feet as he drags his ragged body out of his cell with stolen keys and moves down the hall.

\---

Hall 6, hall 7, hall 8…

The troopers catch them by hall 7 and they just keep running.

Hall 9…

Shots are fired behind them, whizzing by and nearly hitting them. A bolt flies so close, Jyn can feel the line of skin that burns on her cheek.

She has no time to worry about that, or to think about how her lungs are bursting and her legs are tiring.

The halls are long and go on for what seems like an age. When she sees the sign for hall 10, she puts in a burst of speed and keeps running. Beside her, Kay can run faster, but seems to be deliberately keeping pace with her, firing back at the troopers.

Jyn wants to scream when she sees a laser bolt come so close to Kay’s shoulder that sparks fly from the joint.

Jyn frantically jams the key card into the door for hall 10 and the door opens to reveal…

Empty cells.

The hall is long and so Jyn keeps running, hoping to find him anywhere.

They reach the end of the hall to find nothing but empty cells and Jyn looks at Kay with growing horror.

The trooper lied and now they’re cornered.

\---

They said the prison deck.

That implies that Cassian is being held elsewhere.

He manages to get himself to a lift and considers the buttons on the wall.

Most Imperial facilities keep their prison decks on level 10. It’s a gamble, but it’s his best option.

He jams the button for 10 and sags against the wall.

His hand left a bloody mark on the shiny durasteel panel.

His vision’s starting to go gray at the edges, but he bites the inside of his cheek and forces himself to remain upright.

Not long now, he tells himself as he watches the lights above the lift door blink down towards 10 and finally stop.

The doors open and Cassian heaves himself out of the lift.

Down the hall is the sound of blaster fire and shouts.

It must be them, he thinks and the knowledge of them gives him a fresh burst of energy. He can’t run, but he limps as fast as he can, towards the noise.

\---

They’re pinned down and hiding in the doorway of an open, empty cell.

A blaster bolt has already grazed her arm and she fires back without even aiming, certain she’ll hit at least one of the troopers that are shooting at them.

It’s fortunate this is a smaller base than Scariff.

Or perhaps they only bothered to send so many troopers for just two escaped prisoners.

She peeks around the corner for only a second before firing another shot.

Only nineteen troopers now.

Eighteen, after Kay fires a shot with the blaster they stole from the trooper she interrogated.

Then seventeen troopers.

Jyn frowns as she watches one go down without her or Kay firing a shot.

Another goes down and then another and Jyn doesn’t question it, she just keeps firing and some of the troopers turn and start firing behind them, but too late.

They whittle them down to none in a matter of minutes and only when the last one falls, does she see him.

In a way it takes her right back to Scariff, seeing him standing there, bloody and breathless with his blaster aimed and ready to save her life.

As they step out, he lets that arm fall to his side like it weighs too much to stay aloft. His body drifts sideways like his balance is wrong and Jyn is on her feet and running.

 _“Cassian,”_ she calls out happy to see him alive and afraid he might not be for much longer.

When he collapses to the ground, it takes all of her willpower not to fly apart.

\---

He didn’t realize he’d used up the last of his energy until it was gone. Probably it had already gone and he was just keeping upright with willpower alone.

He doesn’t even remember hitting the ground, but suddenly there are hands on him.

Small, delicate hands and a voice crying his name.

_“Cassian, wake up. Open your eyes Cassian, please.”_

It feels far away, but that voice…

His head is spinning and he opens his eyes to see…

It’s Jyn, cradling his head in her lap, her hands trembling where they’re pressing to his cheek, his forehead.

It’s _Jyn,_ he thinks and his head feels sluggish and understanding finally permeates. She’s here, she’s _safe._ And talking fast, asking him questions, but he’s so tired he can barely understand.

His lips quirk into a smile just looking at those green eyes he missed so much.

“I found you,” he murmurs, still smiling and she stares at him, for a moment her words and panicked hands freezing in place.

“Yes, you found me,” she says and those green eyes turn liquid.

His vision is blurring, everything around starting to lose definition.

Still, he reaches up to rest an unsteady hand on her cheek.

“Cassian,” she says and from somewhere above her, he hears, “We have to move.”

And the dark slams into him like a weight.

The last thing he hears is his name.

\---

His hand rests on her cheek, trembling and clammy. She almost reaches up to hold it, but something stops her.

He’s smiling at her, he seems _happy._

“We have to go,” Kay says, standing over them and she can’t even think with the way Cassian is looking at her. Dark eyes, warm and soft.

She doesn’t even understand until the hand drops and his eyes close.

 _“Cassian,”_ his name rips a hole in her lungs.

“Cassian, open your eyes, open them, _please,”_ she begs and this time he doesn’t listen.

“There’s no time,” K-2 says and unceremoniously lifts Cassian up in his arms.

And Kay is right and Jyn wants to cry, or scream until her vocal cords snap but instead she gets to her feet and picks up her blaster.

“Let’s go.”

\---

She watches Cassian whenever she can. Noting that Kay’s hold on him is surprisingly gentle, cradling the man and protecting him as much as possible.

“Get him to the Falcon,” she says and she stays behind longer to cover their exit.

It’s a miracle she doesn’t get hurt more than a blast to the shoulder on the way out.

Kay is waiting for her just outside the base, leaning over Cassian to try and shield him from the rain.

“I told you to get him to the Falcon,” she hissed as soon as she’s in earshot.

“Cassian would not approve of leaving you behind. Now we have to move.”

\---

When the exit ramp lowers to reveal Jyn, K-2, and an unconscious Cassian, Han has the decency to make no comments.

“Med kit’s in the back,” he says once they’re on board, “Were you followed?”

“It’s statistically likely,” K-2 replies as he bends down to gently lay Cassian out on the floor. Jyn doesn’t respond, ignoring all of them to bend down beside Cassian’s unconscious form. The others are smart enough to not say anything when she starts nervously brushing back his hair which is plastered to his forehead.

He’s clammy to the touch and shivering. Only then does she ask, without looking up, “Do you have blankets?”

Han points and Kay is the one to get the blanket and med kit while Han fires up the Falcon around them.

“I will stabilize him,” Kay says as he kneels down awkwardly on his too-long legs beside her. She can only nod and move aside, once again pulling his head into her lap rather than letting it rattle against the hard durasteel floor. Kay looks at her, and again his photoreceptors give nothing away. He makes no comment as he opens the med kit and sets to work.

Jyn is helpless do anything more than watch as K-2 peels back Cassian’s ragged jacket to reveal ugly looking half healed gashes and bruises. His entire torso is a mess of purples and reds and Jyn has to look away and bite her lip.

Her hands rest in his hair, still damp from rain and sweat.

And as Kay works, she combs her fingers through his hair and hopes…

She isn’t really sure what she’s hoping to accomplish, but just having him here beneath her hands eases something in her chest.

She likes to think of Cassian as strong. Strong enough to withstand a great fall and still get back up. Strong enough to survive a war he’s been fighting since he was six years old.

But now, unconscious as K-2 injects him with painkillers and antibiotics, he just looks fragile and breakable.

She hopes only breakable and not broken.

Eventually Kay sits back and says, “There is nothing else I can do for him.”

Jyn nods settling herself against the wall, keeping his head in her lap.

Kay pulls a blanket over him and then moves to sit in front of Jyn.

“Your shoulder needs to be looked at as well.”

“It’s fine,” Jyn mutters, looking away. It’s been a solid ache since it got blasted, but she’d rather save their supplies for Cassian.

“It would be very stupid for you to die of an infection after all this,” Kay observes and Jyn glares at the droid.

For a moment he says nothing, but she can hear the whir of his servos beneath the rumble of the ship’s engine.

“Cassian has also been very bad at receiving medical attention if that helps,” he finally says.

And she realizes that K-2 must mean all those missions they went on before Jedha and Scariff. Before Rogue One.

She can imagine Kay, pestering Cassian, just like this and the thought makes her almost smile.

Almost, but not quite.

Still, she relents and allows K-2 to approach with the med-kit and surprisingly gentle hands that don’t quite match.

Jyn keeps one hand pressed to Cassian’s cheek while she shifts to let Kay work on her injured shoulder.

The two of them say very little on the long flight home.

\---

Cassian has strange dreams.

Floating through space, he dreams of menacing figures and blaster fire and pain.

But there’s someone else, always nearby.

Like a solid, but spectral presence. He can feel her hand on his cheek, or in his hair.

She’s there on a beach with him as a fire comes burning for them both and all he can do is hang on with everything he’s got.

One scene slips into another and none of it makes sense, but she’s always there with him.

\---

When Cassian wakes up, awareness comes slowly.

He’s warm, he’s lying down.

And someone is holding his hand.

He opens his eyes to a dimly lit room. A chrono by the bed announces it as 0200 hours.

He’s vaguely wondering if he’s still dreaming as he realizes it’s Jyn holding his hand. Her head pillowed on the mattress beside him.

He stares at her in the dark, just seeing the way Hoth’s moonlight filters in to brush her hair with its light.

How did he get here? He wonders vaguely.

And then the memory of the last few weeks and those last few hours slams into him with a start.

He pushes himself up, ready to leap out of bed and go find Draven immediately and demand a status report. Demand to know if there were any casualties.

Jyn’s here, but what about Kay? Who flew them to Darkknell?

He gets as far as sitting upright before his body protests in spectacular fashion.

He can’t quite stop the yelp that escapes him as a hundred small, half-healed injuries register their complaints as monitors he didn’t notice being hooked up to start blaring out alarms.

He’s not sure what noise startles Jyn, but she’s on her feet like she’s been electrocuted.

“Shit Cassian, I’ll get the nurse,” and she’s out the door before he can stop her.

The nurse appears a few moments later.

She won’t tell him anything, except that he has to lie down and rest.

And not to do anything stupid, like try to go for a walk in his condition.

Then she leaves and Jyn does not come back.

His hand rests, cold and empty on the mattress.

\---

In the morning, Kay comes to see him.

“You got captured,” is the first thing the droid says when he opens his eyes.

And then Cassian closes them again with a sigh,

“I did.”

The first time Cassian had to tell Kay to stay home after his rebuild, K-2 protested.

He said that Cassian would surely be captured without his help.

“I will refrain from saying, I told you so,” Kay continues, like he’s being magnanimous.

“Thanks Kay,” Cassian murmurs.

And K-2 looks around the room, as if checking for something.

“Where’s Jyn? For the last three days, she’s been impossible to remove from the premises.”

“She left,” Cassian sighs and Kay stares at him. The silence is almost uncomfortable as the droid eyes him, his head tilting slightly to the side.

“You still have a romantic attachment to Ms. Erso do you not?”

Cassian looks away, scrubbing a hand over his face, _“Kay,_ I told you I didn’t want to talk about it the last time you brought this up.”

“So the answer is yes then,” K-2 says, sounding almost pleased as he sits back in his seat against the wall.

 _“Kay,_ could we not do this right now?”

“This is an issue that causes you distress and based on her behavior on the mission I believe it is mutual,” the droid says flatly and Cassian has to shut his eyes for a moment before he can respond.

“Kay, you can’t possibly know that for sure.”

“You should address it with her and resolve the issue,” the droid continues like he didn’t hear him.

 _“Kay,”_ Cassian growls and the droid still keeps talking, “You were unable to observe her Cassian, this is serious and impairs both your judgments. You have to resolve it.”

Cassian stares at the droid who stares back, unblinking and still.

And a memory comes to him. A vague, unclear memory.

He remembers her hands on him, he remembers the fear in her eyes.

The next thing he remembers, he’s being carried away from her. Her feet are planted as she fires her blaster back the way they came.

And she’s _screaming._

Back in the present, he looks at Kay.

“Where is she now?”

\---

The doctors don’t want him roaming around, but he eventually convinces them to let him use a hoverchair.

It seems ludicrous, but Kay tells him to go to his bunk.

“She breaks into your room when you’re away for long periods of time,” Kay said, “I checked, she does not touch anything or take anything. As far as I can tell, she likes to be in your room when you are away.”

There are other places Kay suggests. Hidden corners around the base, and Cassian can even think of a few on his own.

Places where he’s found her.

She puts on a tough front but sometimes she prefers to retreat into solitude and hiding.

He once found her in some dark corner of the hangar. A wall, barely shielding her from the outside winds. She was shivering, her knees pulled to her chest and she didn’t seem at all inclined to move.

So he sat with her that day. And on many others like it.

He had often wondered what she did when he was away.

He supposed, now as he reached the door to his room, he has an answer.

When he opens the door, it reveal Jyns.

Sitting on his bed with the lights dimmed and furiously mopping at her tear stained cheeks with the back of her hand .

“Cassian I…” she trails off as he maneuvers the hoverchair in the room and shuts the door behind him.

“Sorry,” she murmurs and he turns to her, shaking his head.

“Don’t be sorry Jyn.”

“I’ve been breaking into _your room._ I’m pretty sure that merits an apology,” she says with a tired sort of aggravation before glancing up at him properly.

“You’re in a hoverchair, is it that bad?”

He shakes his head, bracing his hands against the armrests to lever himself upright.

“Only for now. It will get better in time, but they want to keep me in sickbay for a few more days.”

She watches him move to slowly sit on the bed beside her.

“Then why are you here?” she asks, as he settles himself on the mattress with a sigh.

“Kay said I might find you here.”

Jyn pauses to stare at him for a moment before glancing away again.

“Why am I not surprised that he knew?” she mutters under her breath and Cassian huffs out a small breath of amusement.

“He’s actually the one who suggested I talk to you,” he continues and that gets Jyn’s full attention. Even in the dimly lit room he can see her eyebrows raise.

“I never took him for the sort that would meddle,” she says slowly.

“It was a surprise to me too,” Cassian replies and that gets a smile out of her before she looks down and away again.

“So what was it you wanted to talk about?” she asks softly.

He has to swallow before he can answer, “You ran off so fast when I woke up...I was worried…” he trails off lamely and Jyn shakes her head.

“I didn’t want to get in the way of the nurses. I’m _fine_ Cass.”

And he shifts on the bed to face her, wincing a little as the motion twinges his injuries.

“Are you fine Jyn?”

She glances at him again with a frown, “What does that mean? You were the one in the med-bay. You were the one that was captured and…” she trails off like she’s suddenly unable to continue and Cassian has to suppress a shudder at the memory of his cold, dark cell.

Neither of them speak for what feels like an age.

When Jyn finally opens her mouth to speak, the words come out small and strained.

“You scared me Cass. You were gone so long and then you were such a mess…” she shakes her head, her gaze still trained on the floor, “It wasn’t like Scariff because I thought you were going to die and I might not and…” her mouth works but she seems to have run out of words to say.

He isn’t sure quite what to say in reply, but he rests a hand on her arm and says, “I heard the guards talking about two intruders. A girl and a droid and I knew it was you and they were talking about getting you cornered and thrown in a cell. I was afraid I might not get to you in time.”

Jyn looks at him again, a brief, broken glance before turning away again with a scoff.

 _“Get to us in time,_ Cassian you could barely _walk._ Why would you put that kind of demand on yourself?”

“Because the alternative might have been sitting around while you got killed,” he replies, squeezing her arm a little too tight because he needs something to hang on to, “And if something had happened to you and I did nothing...I couldn’t bear that.”

She cuts him a hard glance for just a moment before turning away again. Her arm has gone still as stone and he feels like he’s teetering on the edge of something.

“I know we feel differently about things, but Jyn, _please understand_ … I couldn’t.... I _can’t…”_

All the days of torture and torment are weighing down on him, trying to suffocate him, but he has to try and say this aloud.

“Jyn, I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

She’s looking at him now, her forest green eyes locked onto his and he’s trying.

He’s trying as hard as he can.

“I would go through a hundred months like the one I just did if it meant keeping you safe,” the words fall off him like weights and the truth of it cuts him deep.

And she doesn’t move, she doesn’t blink or _breathe._

She’s just staring at him, wide eyed and still and he realizes his hand is like a vice on her arm. He takes a deep breath, pushes away all thoughts of that cell, and focuses on relaxing and letting go of her arm.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, letting his hand drop to the mattress between them. He hopes that in the dark, she can’t see the tremor.

He’s not sure what she sees or what makes her move, but she turns and grabs his hand between both of her own.

“Don’t apologize,” she says softly, her hands cradling his.

“Then what can I do?” he whispers, hardly caring if his voice is starting to crack, “What can do to make up for what I put you through?”

She takes a shaky breath, letting her eyes close for a moment and when they open again, there are tears and emotions he can’t begin to name.

“Just keep coming back,” she tells him, reaching up to rest a hand on his cheek, “I don’t need anything from you, so long as you _keep coming back.”_

He could tell her that one day he might not. Or she might not. Or they both might die in some future blaze of glory or the most mundane accident imaginable. The odds are against them in every way imaginable, but he thinks that he finally understands and so does she and so he just says, “Okay,” and leans into her touch.

“Okay,” she replies, her hand moving up to brush through his hair. There’s something decided in her eyes even as a tear runs down her cheek.

“I never did say thank you for finding me,” he says, reaching up to brush that tear away and she smiles up at him, a small fragmented smile.

“I would come for you no matter what. If I had to burn down this whole Force forsaken planet to find you, I would do it.”

Again, it’s that brittle honesty, so fragile it might break at a single touch.

Another tear streams down her cheek, but she doesn’t look away.

It feels like they’re exchanging a strange set of vows to each other in this dark room. No promises to have and hold. But promises nonetheless.

All he can do is hold out an arm and whisper, “C’mere,” and without a word Jyn wraps her arms around him and he responds in kind. He presses his face into her neck and feels the way she hangs on just a little too tight.

And they stay that way for a long time.

And they never fully untangle.

In the end K-2 comes and finds them both asleep on the bed. The scrap metal droid can only shake his head at these ridiculous organics when Cassian should be back in the med-bay.

Still…

Kay will let them sleep a little longer, and he shuts the door to Cassian’s room and walks away noting the time and date.

And if a droid could smile, in that moment K-2SO almost certainly would be.

**Author's Note:**

> The one time I think I won't hit a wordcount and then I super doooo. Oh well the other was really short anyways. Also I don't know why I struggled so much with this one but it definitely got away from me a bit. Also if anybody here read the Of Story Seas and Galaxies series, Nadjia, the bartender, and that whole cantina are lifted from Of Starlight and Stardust.


End file.
